Supporting LGBTQ+ Girl Scouts
For over 100 years Girl Scouts has been dedicated to creating an inclusive and welcoming environment for all its members. We pride ourselves on providing a safe space for those who need it. It’s so important for youth to have spaces where they can be themselves, especially if that isn’t an option at school or at home. By taking on these simple actions and dedicating ourselves to learning more, we can continue to offer Girl Scouts as a place where youth and volunteers can be themselves.
Even if you don’t think anyone in your troop identifies as LGBTQ+, you can and should work to be inclusive. You never know who might be quietly questioning their identity and looking to you to see if they’ll be accepted when they decide to share. Troop members might also have queer or transgender parents, siblings, friends, or other loved ones. We know how important a troop leader’s support and acceptance can be to Girl Scouts, and we know how much you want to be there for your troop! Read on for tips on how you can be supportive and welcoming to LGBTQ+ youth and families in your troop.
Before we examine the “how” of creating a supportive environment, let’s pause to review the language and concepts that we use to describe gender and sexual orientation. This is just a brief overview of some of these concepts and words—head over to Gender Spectrum, The Trevor Project’s Guide to Being an Ally to Transgender and Nonbinary Young People, and The Trevor Project’s Sexual Orientation Resources page for a deeper dive.
Gender Identity
Gender identity is our internal sense of self and gender and is not necessarily tied to biological sex. This identity can include male, female, neither, or both. For cisgender people, their gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth. For transgender people, their gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. For nonbinary people, their gender identity does not fit into the categories of man or woman. For agender people, they do not identify as any gender. A guide to gender identity terms can be found here.
Pronouns
A pronoun is a word that is used instead of a noun to refer to someone, i.e. how we identify ourselves apart from our name. Some examples include she/her, he/him, they/them. Some people may use more than one set of pronouns to refer to themselves. We can’t assume someone’s pronouns in the same way we can’t assume people’s gender identities or names. One way you can be sure that all members are welcomed into a space is by inviting people to share their pronouns along with their name during introductions, such as “Hi, my name is Emily and I use she/her pronouns.” Learn more about pronouns here.
Sexual orientation
Sexual orientation is not the same as gender identity. Sexual orientation refers to who a person is attracted to and might be described with words such as gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, queer, etc. For more LGBTQ+ terms check out GLAAD’s Glossary of Terms.
Check Your Assumptions
Don’t assume that everyone in your troop is cisgender and straight! Statistically, it makes sense to assume that at least one person in your troop either already identifies as queer and/or transgender, or will in the future. With this in mind, take a look at the statements below and why they might not be inclusive to LGBTQ+ troop members:
“When you have a boyfriend someday,” or “has a boy asked you to the dance?” Don’t assume that everyone in your troop wants to date boys now or in the future, has crushes on boys, or wants to date anyone at all.
“Make sure you tell your mom and dad.” Some kids have two moms, two dads, one parent, a step-parent, a non-binary parent, or other family structures.
“Okay ladies, time to go.” Even in Girl Scouts, avoid referring to a group by overly gendered terms whenever you can. Try using other words like everyone, friends, Brownies, folks, team, or your troop number.
“Boys do this, girls do that.” Avoid stereotypes and binary thinking (implying that boys and girls are fundamentally different, opposite, and there are only two options when it comes to gender. If you want to learn more, check out the Gender and Sexuality 101 virtual training available on gsLearn!)
Don’t be afraid to talk about it!
There’s nothing inherently inappropriate about LGBTQ+ identities or talking about them with your troop. Even when you don’t initiate discussions about sexual orientation and gender identity, it likely has or will come up in a troop setting. Just like with any other topic, as a troop leader, you can make sure that these conversations are age-appropriate and that everyone is being respectful of each other. It’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries with your troop while still being a welcoming and affirming leader.
Talking about gender is unavoidable—we’re Girl Scouts, so it’s in the name! So much of our programming has to do with gender, whether that’s breaking gender stereotypes around STEM and the outdoors, or working on the aMUSE, aMAZE, or GIRLtopia journeys, which all focus on problems girls face in the world.
Keep in mind that even in Girl Scouts, there’s likely gender diversity in your troop. Not all Girl Scout members identify as girls; in a 2021 survey of high school Girl Scouts within our council, 17% said they use pronouns that are not she/her, such as they/them or he/him. That means gender identity and expression are likely to come up in your troop, especially as your troop gets older. And even if everyone in your troop does identify as a girl, everyone expresses gender differently, like in what they choose to wear or how they act. Acknowledge this in your troop and help your Girl Scouts work to break down the girl-boy binary when you discuss issues related to gender.
If you avoid talking about LGBTQ+ issues or quickly change the subject every time they come up, kids might think you’re not supportive or accepting. Try to be intentional about representation: can you include LGBTQ+ people as special guests, in books you read together, or on field trips in your community? Can you hang a pride flag in your meeting space or wear a button that expresses your support for queer and trans youth? Depending on the age and interest of your troop, read a picture book about a child with two moms, do a Take Action project related to supporting the LGBTQ+ community, or attend a local pride parade or family event (these often happen in June, Pride month).
Listen and Learn
One of the simplest things we can do to ensure we’re creating welcoming spaces to people of all genders is to listen and inform ourselves. Take some time to learn about LGBTQ+ youth experiences, but also remember that these experiences are not universal. Seek to understand and empathize with another person’s lived experience. Learning is an ongoing experience, so it’s okay to acknowledge that you might not know some things. Part of being a good ally is continuing your education.
Many LGBTQ+ youth experience bullying, harassment, and other discrimination because of their sexual orientation or gender identity in school, at home, and out in public. The rate of bullying, harassment, and discrimination is particularly high for transgender and nonbinary youth. For many, Girl Scouts is a safe space where they can be themselves. They may be coming to troop meetings weighed down by a number of negative stressors or anxiety. Be a role model for kindness and inclusion and show your Girl Scouts that they can be authentic around you and trust you.
Someone in my troop came out to me—what do I do?!
Congratulations, this likely means that this young person trusts you, values your opinion, and feels safe in their troop!
Here are some other things you could say in response:
“Thank you for telling me—I’m so glad you feel comfortable being who you are here!”
“I’m so happy you felt like you could come to me with this! I care about you a lot and want you to feel safe and respected here.”
Here are some things to avoid:
“We already knew!” This can make it feel unimportant or make someone uncomfortable especially if they are still figuring out their own identity
Asking invasive questions about someone’s body or relationships.
“That’s not a real identity/I don’t believe you/you’re too young to know that.” Everyone is an expert on their own gender and sexuality! Their identity or how they think about it might change over time, but that doesn’t invalidate how they feel now.
Telling others without permission. When someone comes out you might feel the need to inform the rest of the troop or families so that everyone knows the correct pronouns or language around a person’s gender identity or sexual orientation. Refrain from sharing anyone else’s story for them unless you have their permission to do so. Disclosing a person’s identity could cause discomfort, break trust, and compromise their safety as some people or environments can be dangerous for LGBTQ+ youth. Not all LGBTQ+ Girl Scouts are out at home or at school, and there may be reasons for that. Respect each individual and let them come out when and to who they want.
Other tips:
Remember that your reaction to this person might signal to others whether you are welcoming or not (Other kids in the troop might be queer too!).
Ask if they need or want any support from you, and take cues from them—do they seem to want to talk about it more? Do they need your help with something? Do they want to move on quickly?
If a troop member comes out as transgender, ask what pronouns and name you should use for them, both in the troop and with their family or others. These answers might not be the same, depending on where they are at in their coming out journey.
Using correct pronouns for trans and nonbinary youth is a way to let them know that you see them, you affirm them, you accept them. If you catch yourself misgendering or using the wrong pronoun for someone, the best thing to do is to correct yourself, apologize quickly, and continue on without making an excessive show out of the mistake or your guilt. Show that you care by doing better moving forward. However, if you notice that someone is intentionally using the wrong name and pronoun for someone, this is bullying/harassment and should be stopped and addressed seriously.
Don’t be afraid to come back to a topic later if you’re not able to have a conversation at the moment. Such as if someone comes out in the middle of a group activity, quietly bring it up one-on-one at a different time.
Seek out support, information, or resources as needed—don’t expect the person who came out to educate you on everything.
Language changes. Some of the terms people commonly use now are different from those used in the past to describe similar ideas, identities and experiences. Some people may continue to use terms that are less commonly used now to describe themselves, and some people may use different terms entirely. What's important is recognizing and respecting people as individuals.
Want to learn more? Check out these recommended resources (PDF).
Are you noticing that an LGBTQ+ Girl Scout is struggling with issues such as coming out, LGBTQ+ identity, depression, or suicide? LGBTQ+ young people in search of support can connect with a crisis counselor at The Trevor Project 24/7 through the TrevorLifeline at 1-866-488-7386, via chat at TheTrevorProject.org/Get-Help, or by texting START to 678-678.
